BREAKFAST MENU
2020

ink on paper + text
published in Dinner Bell vol. 2, Pittsburgh, 2020




I took a photo in a supermarket on the morning of Christmas Eve, a year ago. It was quite early but with my swollen, sleepy eyes I spotted an excellent image: a four-pack of beers, a margarine and a litre bottle of vodka rolling slowly towards the till on the black belt. That is a rather disturbing breakfast, I thought.
This started an investigation of breakfast sets bought by people in the morning. 









1/ White Christmas
vodka, 4 beers, margarine

Bought on the day of Christmas Eve, early morning. Perhaps it was just last shopping for Christmassupplies missing for the great celebration of the birth of baby Jesus - the wife sent the husband to theshop early so it's done and they can continue preparation. However, the unique combination, and thetiming of purchase could implicate that products constitute a breakfast menu, disturbing andundoubtedly unhealthy breakfast. It would also materialize my mother’s theory on how people spendsocial money.

2/ After-party
borsh, cream cheese, tomato, beer

A nutritious hangover set, providing strength and vitality. It contains an iron from beetroots, the proteinfound in cream cheese, full-of-potassium tomato, and a priceless hair of the dog - cold beer. Thislegendary composition was compiled by us one frosty Sunday morning in Warsaw. After eating it isrecommended to lie down and watch “Colour me Kubrick”, starring John Malkovich.

3/ Le petit-déjeuner sucré
quince taste vodka, ice cream

Someone here is a sweet tooth! Quince vodka, a Polish classic: rich, fruity palette, bit sour and sweetat the beginning, strong later, pleasantly burns a throat with its 32 percent of alcohol. Combined with avanilla ice cream it is a wonderful morning dessert combination, extravagantly paid with a onehundred bill.

4/ Smoker
marlboro pack

Good old ciggies <cough>

5/ Port d’ Amsterdam
nuddles, beer, apple

A late-breakfast, part of a houseboat life in the South of Amsterdam. “The beauty of this set–saidStefan himself–is that you can match it with the current season by changing the types of apples andtaste of noodles.” Indeed, the combination of Granny Smith with a vegetable flavor soup andHeineken beer perfectly fits the springtime with its green palette. Golden Delicious combined withchicken flavor (halal) is a fantastic choice for sunny summer.

6/ Fuel
Red bull, hot dog, Pall Mall

No matter what weather it is, on her first morning break store manager K. goes to the stand on the opposite side of the street to buy a hot-dog and red-bull, her daily fuel. The lady there knows her well and they often gossip a bit about misbehaving customers or crowds in the city. Then K. sits on the stone bench and eats hotdog together with a red-bull, but not all of it, so she can still have a sip with a cigarette after. Sometimes, when the queue for a stand is long she switch the order and starts with the pall mall. They recently closed the hot dog stand, so I guess she will have to invent the new menu.

7/ Classic Dutch
butter, chocolate sprinkles, coffee

When I was a child, we hosted two lovely blond Dutch boys at home, as a part of school exchange.They brought lots of gifts including gouda cheese twice bigger than my head, licorice candy and ahuge box of hagelslag–chocolate sprinkles. As a gesture of appreciation, we started to bakeenormous amount of cakes to use them all. Soon, however, we realized our mistake. In theNetherlands you eat it for breakfast on a piece of bread with butter, preferably with a cup of coffee. Lekker!

8/ Instructor’s choice
roll, egg paste, nestea 2l, Marlboro Gold

Eaten by surfing instructor day after day for two months before conducting classes, it became a hit ofthe surfing community in the Hel peninsula. Fast and convenient - that's what you need - buy it on theway to the beach and eat it there, looking at the sea, then start the day. Energy, 2 liters of hydration,and nicotine in one simple set.

9/ Pork Barrel Roll
roll, margarine, pork, letuce

In today’s breakfast menu we have a wheat kaiser roll (inappropriately called by some people as ’a swastika-roll’), with a thick layer of margarine on both sides and of course local pork (there is no vegan version, sorry, but if it helps, there is a lettuce leaf inside). All that elegantly wrapped in plastic, distributed by a president of a county in front of the coal main. It is, indeed, a european roll of XXI century.